I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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