there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
