People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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