East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
