I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
