dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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