just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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