I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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