I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
