Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
