I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize