Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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