I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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