If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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