I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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