How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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