It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't deserve a penis
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
