whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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