My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
