you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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