Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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