There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
