Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
