6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
