I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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