and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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