we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
