he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
