I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
