I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
