hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
