Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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