but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
