so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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