i permit you to call me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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