Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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