I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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