***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize