while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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