Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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