i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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