Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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