He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
