And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
