Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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