A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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