I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
