i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
