Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
