My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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