Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
