I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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