well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
