It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
