You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
