I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
