walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
