We're like a lot better than the average bears
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
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frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
should my penis look like a turkey
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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