Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
