He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
