i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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