I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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