I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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